I am a geek. Yes, I’m fine with admitting it. After Rivers Cuomo made geeks cool in 1994, many of us came out of the geek closet. There are many different phyla of Geeks, sports geeks, movie geeks, computer geeks, music geeks, but the thing that each have in common in their geekdom is that they each study/worship/talk endlessly about a particular subject matter that defines their geekiness. For example, I am a movie geek and an NBA geek. If you have masochistic tendencies you can keep me talking about either of these two subjects for hours. I will spend an hour and a half lamenting the loss of Shawn Kemp to insanity, then the next four hours trying to decide which Christopher Walken monologue is my favorite. If you really hate yourself, you will get me started on lists, which brings me to my point.

Geeks and lists go together like the George W. Bush and malapropisms. We love debating the top five greatest dunks in a playoff game, or the ten best Robert de Niro movies. Making lists is not unique to geekhood; human beings love reining chaos into some kind of order. Benjamin Franklin was famous for his lists. He would make lists of synonyms for being drunk, reasons for his love of cougars, and other rules that should define his life.

There are many variables to consider, the most important one is whom your audience is.   Because people’s likes and dislikes are so closely associated with who they are as a person you must be very careful when giving out information as personal as your favorite movies, especially when talking to girls. The list is a metaphorical map of your personality. If you like Reggie Evans more than Leborn, it definitely says something about your predilection towards scrappy underdogs. This is the reason listing is such a tricky business. You wouldn’t want to have to explain to a girl why your favorite movie is Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer.

Because Geeks are naturally shy when it comes to those with the longer hair (girls), I have taken it upon myself to develop the ultimate movie list for seduction (in most cases the geek seduction is synonymous with not scaring them away and getting shoved into a locker). Talk about movies with a girl, then whip this at her.

Die Hard – With number one, you want to start off with a bang. It should be a movie that is well known and well liked. This shows the girl that you are a fully functioning member of society capable with relating to other people on the same level. The choice of an action movie is a strategic one. This shows a certain level of male identity. The girl subconsciously realizes that you are the kind of guy who would protect her. You would defend her honor in a forty-story building against German terrorists. The main character in the movie is an every man. He’s not some kind of Rambo/ Schwarzenegger he-man. He is just you average New York cop. It helps if she’s seen the movie, then she can really see how you relate to John McClane. He is sarcastic, funny, and has the charming New Jersey attitude that everyone loves.

You’ve Got Mail – Number two should bring the testosterone level down. Two male-oriented movies in a row runs the risk of her thinking you are a meathead. Choosing a romantic comedy is a good call because it shows you embrace your sensitive side; however you need to be careful about which one you choose. You want to choose one that is on the manlier side of the chick flick spectrum. Choosing a movie like Dirty Dancing can be the kiss of death. DD is one of the girliest movies ever made, and may be a little too sensitive. (plus bringing up Patrick Swayze so soon may bring on the waterworks).  Being too sensitive puts you into the friend zone. Also, you have to worry about picking a movie that might be on the girl’s list. If you both love the same movie, she might see too much of herself in you, and again you will be delegated to the friend zone. You’ve Got Mail is a very safe bet. For one, it is just a good movie so it’s not an embarrassing choice. Tom Hanks is top notch as always, and liking Meg Ryan says you’re into the cute girl-next-door type who you could have a relationship with, not just the smoking hot bimbo of the one-night-stand. Also on the list of most popular chick flicks of all time, You’ve Got Mail is not very high, thus reducing the chances of it being her favorite movie as well. Dave Chappelle also gives it extra coolness points.

Hellraiser - Now this is a risky move, but in the right circumstances it is a great move. Putting a horror movie in your top five shows that you aren’t a fraidy-cat. This can help squash any lingering doubts your date may have about your sensitivity left over from #2. Horror movies show that you are a man, and that you would like to have her cuddle up to you and bury her face in your shoulder as you watch a scary movie.

Aguirre, the Wrath of God - So far you have three popcorn-y entertainment movies in your top five. Slot #4 is a good spot for your favorite foreign film of film of high artistic integrity. You don’t want to appear to be someone who can’t enjoy a thinking man’s movie that deals with important issues, and you also want to show you appreciate other cultures and their art. Aguirre, the Wrath of God covers both artsy movie and foreign film category. Most likely, unless you date is a film buff, she has not seen this movie, which will allow you to explain how important it is to cinema and how brilliantly it shows a portrait of a man’s descent into madness and his obsessive quest. Also, dropping the name “Herzog” is a good call because he is well respected in almost every hipster circle

Moulin Rouge - This one’s just a great movie. That Ewan McGregor sings like a bird.

Godspeed, my geek comrades. It helps if you have a good personality and good looks as well, but you’d be surprised just how far good taste in movies takes you. I’m convinced that the only reason my girlfriend is still with me is because I showed her You’ve Got Mail.

Matthew Strickland is a senior at Drexel University. He studies English and Philosophy, and is anticipated to graduate in March of 2010.

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