I was wondering recently who I would want as my father if I could choose a famous author to be mine. I was considering it would be cool to have Franz Kafka as my father because I just feel like if he tried to get me to do chores around the house I could just beat him up. Plus the guy had a pretty bad relationship with his own father so you know he probably learned a thing or two about raising kids. But as I got to thinking, I came to the conclusion that most writers are dirtbags who drink too much, cheat on their wives, and withhold love from their children. There is a quote by T.C. Boyle in the Drexel Publishing office that reads “Everyone of my generation writes because we can’t have our own rock band”. That’s pretty true, because most writers are completely full of it like most rock stars. Being a writer is kind of like being the lead singer of your own band but you play all the instruments in the band. Think about it, would you really want Allen Ginsberg as your father? The guy stood naked on stage during a reading of Howl. How embarassing. If my dad did that, I’d never be able to show my face at school again.

On a side note, that doesn’t really bode well for my prospects as a father.